19 January 2016

Still Alice

I've bought this book in July. It took me three months to start reading it and another three to finish. I honestly don't know why. I think it was just one of those 'I'm reading few books at the same time' situations.

Anyway - let's get into the book itself. I'm always a bit sceptic about things that are really hyped up - I find myself not enjoying them so much. It did not happened with this one. The thing that convinced me the most was the topic - I've never read a book about Alzheimer's disease.

It was really moving. I found myself holding my breath couple of times. Being able to see what this disease does to a person was incredible and horrifying at the same time. A lot of people (myself included) think that a certain things don't apply to them. I feel like we'd like to think it's impossible to get some disease because that only happens in the movies. This book really opened my eyes - we all have to be aware of our lives and health. Honestly anything can happen and sometimes we have no influence on it.

I truly recommend 'Still Alice' to anybody - it doesn't matter if you're interested in medical books or not. It an amazing possibility to see the world from perspective of someone with Alzheimer's disease and realising how frightening it is.

03 January 2016

Long time no post! And you know what? The year changed since my last one! I would be lying if I said that I'm mad at myself for abandoning the blog. Sometimes life happens and you just have to go with the flow. Also, I have no idea if I will post regularly this year. I'd like to just to keep my memories somewhere but I don't want to feel the pressure that I have to. 

Anyway, the point of this post is to go through my 2015 resolutions to see how I did and make some new ones!

First thing that I really wanted to do in 2015 was to move out to a different country. I can proudly say that I achieved that! I did move to UK for six months. I planned to stay there for a whole year but somewhere along the way I decided to go to college and that's what happened!

Next one was to learn a new language. It did not happen. I tried to work on my French and learn Italian but to be honest I just didn't enjoy it.

My third resolution was to save up some money. Achieved! It could have gone better but I'm still happy with what I have.

Last of my 2015 resolutions was to work on my style and I'm not really sure if I succeed. I am aware of what I want to look like but definitely have to work on that more this year.

I am happy with all of the things that I achieved - the big and the small ones! I read somewhere that 2015 was a year of realising who you are - in 2016 you gonna be that person. That's exactly what's gonna happen. 

2016 resolutions.

1. Read 50 book

Pretty self-explanatory. I had this goal last year but ended up reading only 28. I have a huge pile of books next to me so I'm definitely gonna achieve that in 2016

2. Watch 20 movies

I don't know why but watching movies is hard for me I have a long list of movies from previous years that I have not yet seen.

3. Watch 3 TV series 

Same thing. I will do this!

4. Try capsule wardrobe

I read a lot about this idea and I truly loved it! I'm at the point in my life where I feel that less is more. Having just a small amount of clothes that I adore sounds perfect to me.

5. Do yoga/stretch

My flexibility is horrible. I often feel quite tense and I just don't like that. 

6. Go vegan (for good or just try)

I had this idea for quite a while and I'm sure that this year I'm gonna try. I already don't eat meat so want to go one step forward.

7. Research organic/vegan cosmetics

Again, for a long time now I wanted to change my cosmetics to more natural products so I can feel better.

8. Workout regularly

I tend to work out really hard for a period of time and then just forget about that. My goal is to exercise at least 3 times a week.

9. Work on my English

I have a lot of insecurities about my English. This year I want to take some time to study it a bit more.

10. Cook at home

Since I moved out I eat out way to much! Not only I will save some money but also my meals will be more nutritious.

11. Visit one new country and two new cities in my own country

I love learning about different cultures so visiting new places is always on my list. 

12. One cultural experience a month

Theatre, museum, gallery - anything.

13. Be more money conscious

I saved up money last year but the amount I spend on unnecessary stuff is quite big. I want to cut that down.

14. Find out a bit more about my future.

I don't mean to find my true calling in life cause I know that's not gonna happen. I just want to focus on things that interest me.

15. Learn more

In college and in general. Read more, open my mind and be more conscious.

16. be happy

2016 - get ready for me!

07 June 2015

The Black Hole Of Drinking

I was thinking about writing this post for a quite a while but honestly every single time I sat down to do this my brain would go completely blank. I was worried that it won't match the content I was putting on my blog. Then I slowly start to realize that I'm growing up and so is this place. At the moment I just hope for the best.


I haven't been drinking for over two years now. When I first made that decision I think that I didn't quite understand why I decided to make this move but looking at it now I start to realise some important bits.

Let's start at the beginning of my, well we can call it a little drinking history.

I never was the rebel one. I feel like there was only a few situations when I thought 'Yes, I'm gonna go and get properly drunk.' Other times it just happened by mistake or pressure. Don't get me wrong - I'm taking all of the responsibility for actions in my past but sometimes I just felt like I had to prove things to others. Especially being a teenager. I found myself surrounded by people I thought I belong with. Oh, little did I knew. 

I don't remember my first contact with alcohol - to be honest I don't remember much from the years I was drinking. Everything turned into kind of a blur. I just have some flashing pictures in my head - sitting in the park after school with my friends and just drinking whatever we had a chance to get, meeting a lot of older people who wanted to take advantage of my stupidity and age, thinking that what I'm doing was happiness.  I feel like at the beginning it was just a little bit of fun, then when the time passed I drank cause I was sad or stressed. At the very end I just drank. Feeling nothing inside of me was a 'no reason drinking' factor. I started drinking alone - sitting in my room, mixing different alcohol I could find in my house. I truly thought that it was helping me. 

It never occurred to me that I might had a alcohol problem back then - I mean I was just a stupid, teenage girl who thought it was cool. Now, many years later, I can see that that's what it was. I was solving my problems with a drug. I was addicted. Of course it never crossed my mind to go and ask for help - that would mean that I admit that I have a problem. I just kept drinking. 

But then two years ago something changed.

I got to the stage in my life when I just couldn't stand myself and everything around me. The low point. I did not have impact on the stuff that were happening but I could change this one thing. Just like that I decided to stop drinking. I felt like it came too far. I was so scared of this decision (how stupid I was?!) that I didn't even told my friends the real reason why I stopped drinking - I came up with some lie about me wanting to be better at sports and alcohol was holding me back. Honestly, they still don't know.

Two years have passed.

I didn't have a drop of alcohol in my mouth since my decision. I am proud of myself. Not because I lasted so long but because I've learned that alcohol is not a solution. Life might suck and it's not gonna stop just cause you'll drink a whole bottle of vine or way too much vodka. I've also learned that abstinence is not something to be ashamed of - after all at the end of the day only opinion that matters is your own.

What was the point of this whole story?

Well, couple days or even weeks ago I started to think about getting my relation with alcohol another chance. I'm not talking about getting pissed up - definitely don't want to go down that road again. I just want to enjoy a glass of vine with my friends over a dinner and laugh. 

I really feel like I have a control over it now.

To everyone with similar story or problem to mine - you can drink all of the alcohol in the world but it won't change anything. It will only destroy you. I was too young and too stupid to ask for any help but somehow got out of this low point. But not everybody will. 

Don't be scared to ask for help.

29 April 2015

Life update #3 - twenty first birthday, being a bad blogger and spending too much money.

I didn't write anything here for two months and to be quite honest I don't know why. Every single day I wanted to sit down and post something but.. well, that didn't happen. Anyway, now I'm finally back - hopefully for a little bit longer!
So, what's been going on in my life during this blogless months? 

Mostly work. I have the same routine everyday so there's really not much to say - I wake up, work till 7-8 pm, go for a run or walk with dog. Usually there's not much energy in me left after whole day so I just jump straight to bed and watch some crap TV or read. I definitely have to work on that cause living like that is not best for me.

Also, I did turn 21 over the weekend and it kind of got me thinking about future and stuff. I guess you all know how that works! Let's just hope that this next year in my life will bring a lots of amazing things!

One of this things should be an ability to properly save money! Over the past couple of days I just went a bit crazy with shopping but hey! It was my birthday, right? At least that's what I'm saying to myself when I write my card number on yet another online shopping website! Maybe sometime in the future I'll do a blog post about a stuff that I bought.

Well, I think that's it for now! I do have some ideas for future blog stuff so hopefully I'll be back here really soon!

27 February 2015

My Life Through Photos

It's been over a month since I packed my bags and moved to England. I don't know how did it happened - I feel like I just got here! People usually move to bigger towns but I'm quite different. I live in the middle of nowhere now and I truly love it! It's so nice and quiet. I finally have some time to clear my mind and just think.

16 February 2015

First Shopping Experience In UK

Last week I finally had a chance to visit Ashford. I do live on the countryside so this little trip was exactly something that I needed. I didn't took any pictures of it though – I will next time!

Today I want to share a little shopping that I did whilst I was there. As you can see I mostly bought books... And for the time I'm here that's probably not gonna change. Buying English books in my home country it's a little bit tricky and quite expensive so I want to take advantage of my 'moving out' situation.

Also I found those really nice boots at New Look for really cheap – I wanted something like this for quite a while. Lastly I walk into Superdrug just to look around and came out with some products. I truly like Neutrogena stuff so I thought I'm gonna try this one out. The hand cream was an impulse buy – I needed one so I grabbed first one in the shelf (really good so far by the way!)

That's it for now. I definitely have more shopping post coming (book posts to be specific) but I'll try to remember to make some photos when I'm in the city!

28 January 2015

I Moved!

I did! I decided that I have to work on my New Year's Resolutions so I've packed my bags and moved to UK! I arrived only few days ago so everything is still quite new to me. To be honest I don't know how long will I stay here – I was planning on one year but I might come back home earlier. I feel like I have to get used to couple of things and then I'll be fine.

Really short today but I've just wanted to let you guys know what's happening at the moment!